School term starts yesterday and i have been busy for the past few days....

I've been a good and hardworking gal lately dat i do not have any off days last week...*sighz*

I have good and bad news for myself...the bad news first, i've been transferred to the childcare side and have to work with unreasonable, hypocrite, irritating, horigible WOMEN...not all of dem are but some...Will be back to shift work so i can kiss my luxury life of 8-5 bye bye...*sobs* the sad part is not about the shift work but the tot of me leaving my lovely Babies.....i cant do so *sniffs* I have promised my teachers, i will come over during the lunch break coz the pantry over the childcare side is so horribly dirty and messy...urghhsss....

The good news is...i will get my allowance back and after so long missing my Babies...dey are back in school. Watching their every movements and characters...its so so so mind motivating. i love these kids as they make my day... *smiles* I was really provoked yesterday dat i wanted to go up that blady bitch and give a very very very hard slap on her ugly face but i made a very good choice of going into the classroom and entertain myself watching my Babies groove to the Hokey Pokey (i dont noe how its spelled but i guess im rite..hehe) dey were soooooooo adorable...haha

I came across these while browsing the bulletin in Friendster..:-

JULY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental andunpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

July 26th - August 4 th Pink

PINK
You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.

How come its so me....*tots*

Busy was the word to describe yesterday...*sighz*

Relax is the word to describe today....*laughs*

Well, i have been indulging myself in foods....i practically stuffed myself up with irresistable food every single moment i had....*sighz* Thanks to Fizah's remark "Gal, kalau hari2 kau makan mcm nie...tiap kali kluar gi makan, slamat lah...Welcome to the Club"....haiz wats up with my appetite??

I dont really care about dat now...i juz enjoy grubbing into dos foods. Hei..i've got to eat all the foods dat i have been craving for the past months...I'm left with only MACARONI CHEESE!!!!! Hei babes, wen are u guys meeting up...lets go to Kenny's and have the macaroni cheese...*sobs*

Finally yesterday, i got to eat my hotcakes *smiles*

I mite be goin to the zoo today...lets hope nothing crops up... Enjoy ur saturday...!!!

I juz need some peace....

Can i go away for a while?? I need that....

Yes, i am not okay. I want to cry my heart out but i dont know how.

Can i juz go away for a while?? Please bring me away...

I was so bored today...Browsing the net for quizzes and came across this color quiz website. After doin the test, im shocked with its results...

Your Actual Problem
Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the things she wants.

Your Actual Problem #2
Tensions and stresses induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities or reserves of strength have led to considerable anxiety, and a sense of personal (but admitted) inadequacy. She seeks to escape into a more peaceful and problem-free situation, in which she will no longer have to assert herself or contend with so much pressure.

Your Stress Sources
Has lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. Feels overtaxed and getting nowhere, but continues to stand her ground and still pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity. This subjects her to intolerable pressure from which she wants to escape, but she cannot bring herself to make the necessary decision. As a result she remains firmly involved in the problem and can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it--he cannot leave it alone and feels she will only be at peace when she has reached her objective.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks an affectionate relationship, offering fulfillment and happiness. Capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Helpful, and willing to adapt herself if necessary to realize the bond of affection she desires. Needs the same consideration and understanding from others.

This quiz hit the jackpot...im lost of words...

Ever heard of "Dead Love"?? Where someone u love so bad, someone u really want to live with just pass on in life and leave u all alone in this world...

How would you feel? How would you react to it?? Can you accept the fact that your other half is gone??

It hit me yesterday...i'll rather leave someone knowing the fact that he/she is still alive goin thru a daily life as a person then leaving my precious lying still without a breathe...

Would you miss me if im gone?? Would you think of me if im gone?? Would you shed tears??

I would...

I'll lay low for a while...the feelings traumatising my mind...*sobs*

The Wedding @ Pasir Ris, 19th June 2005

Meeting my good looking insurance agent at 1pm (okay for a chinese guy lah)...

I had training yesterday at marine parade...punyelah boring. I know how to use the system so that training doesnt really meet the purpose lah and in the end, i helped the IT guy to train the two principal yang bengap dan s-l-o-w-e-s-t nak mampus....Actually by 4 da bleh end tapi pasal diorang yang TERLAMPAU BIJAK LAKSANA kul 4.30pm baru abis...da la tempat tu sejuk macam motuary...*pengz* Kesian Sum1 kena tunggu 30 mins...haha sorry *winks*

I was abit sad yesterday...on the way home, in the bus, i had a long tot over unresolved matters...hard to accept dat it really ended or maybe not but i guess it has really ended...All the best to you BABY...i guess u noe me best so its really a pity rite now...

Finally, i really decided to go out yesterday...off to sketches, fetching Ah-fatz along the way. It was wonderful celebration and i got to say dis..."eh budak2 giler!!! Korang shiok2 ambik gambar, petik2 and last2 aku yang kena upload 131 gambar!!!! Kepala Hotak Korang lah...Banyak nak mampus siol!!! Tak cukup siol space...Part tu eh klasik..terperanjat skejap aku...kalau nak gambar... save sendiri from weby"

We had great fun till i cant wake up dis morning...Sum1 called me as a promise made to wake me up and missed called me for 24 times and i didnt wake up...hahhaaha Tido Mampus Lah...!!!! I woke up at 0855hrs for your info and took a cab to work....Sakit Kepala!!!!

Guess wat...in all things dat i can forget...i FORGOT my HP...confirm meletup hp aku kat rumah tu...hmm

Mite be going swimming later at pasir ris...maybe WILD WILD WET...or maybe swimming in my bed *winks*

Im gonna get a new line anyway...i'll update the people again regarding dat...Missing somebody and something...*sobs* i guess dats long enuf...my second link to my second album...juz click at the link on the left side in case Sum1 forget...

Was so busy today...dammit!! I was on MC yesterday so wat do you expect??

My left eye was swollen and it hurts but den it doesnt stop me from goin out yesterday...I had my desired Mee Goreng at Beach Road (finally!!!) den down to Bugis where i cant find my TOPSHOP sandal...*sianz* was der for a while only before i head down to Citylink where my Charles & Keith slippers do not have my size...bingit siol part tu...hmm

Was sitting at esplanade before heading home and take a short nap...i had a so-so day as its happy and unhappy at the same time..dont ask me why...*sobs*

I received an email from Nokia earlier on informing me dat there will be a new hp which will be launched in the 3rd quarter of the year. Nokia 6111 is the phone i die die want to get...now i juz get a new hp yang cheap cheap first lah eh...

I'll be busy this weekend. Today is Saiful's birthday..."Selamat Mentuakan Diri Membez!!!" Tomorrow, plan will go smoothly. Saturday, off to Downtown East for Swimming in the Bikini Bottom *winks* Sunday, off to Pasir Ris again for my galfren wedding...

I got movie passes to Ghost Train...anyone wanna watch with me?? Im goin to buy my Charles & Keith shoes today...YeaY!!! When will i go and buy my nike cap??? *tots*

I love dis quote given by an old fren...

"A daily tot, a silent tear..
A constant wish dat u are near...
Words are few but tots are deep...
Memories of our Frenship, i'll always keep..."

Sweet aint it?? hmm

Today wen i wake up...i only think of these items:-

• Puma Shoes
• Nike Shoes
• Charles & Keith Slippers
• Charles & Keith Slip ons
• Topshop Sandal
• Ballerina Shoes
• Nike Cap - this is one thing dat hit the list of die die must get!!!!
• Adidas Dress
• Billabong Dress
• Levis Skirt

Its like sheeps jumping over my head, hynotising me in broad daylight...procastinating now..Im wondering wen will i be buying the stuffs....

Im juz into shoes rite now as the shoe shop dat i've opened in my room is running out of stock...My wardrobe is nagging at the top of its voice directly into my ears, deafening my ear drums for me to get new clothes... *sighz*

If there are some kind souls that listening to my rants and noes my desire..please dont be shy and help me get dos stuffs *winks*

My baby is back...Canon Ixus 30 is back into action!!!

Been snapping and snapping and snapping our pictures...My album creating problem the whole day so i have uploaded it to a new weby...

My eye is in great pain....*sobs*

My frensy were telling me dat HRC was damn happening and i missed it...Were out to my fren wedding last sunday...It has been ages dat the RuckErs met up...Gosh miss dem alot alot alot...

I saw a pair of shoes from puma...it is so unique...but im in love with a pair of nike shoes too...How eh?? Dilemma which one to buy first...*tots*

I'm head over heels for this Nike Cap...haiz biler nak gi buy nie??? Shall i buy it as a birthday present?? I juz wanna pamper myself...

I got sad news...i lost my baby...Its name is Canon Ixus 30.

I felt devastated and whoever dat has it please please please return it to me...I've been feeling lonely without it *sobs*

My bro's operation was fine and is back home now. The sad part is, he cant really talk or have heaty food..all his food are water-based kinda food and must be cold enuf for his throat...the good part is...Finally i have peace at home *winks* haha and this sister of his practically make fun of him ALL the time..sorry lah cannot helep ar. I've been grubbing on junk food and make him jealous. "

Me: "Nak makan keropok? kakak beli sedap nye ar...nak?? Nak??
Bro: Juz smile and shake his head...
Me: Eh budak nie bisu lak...oh luperlah tak leh cakap eh...Nak blajar sign language??
Bro: Helplessly juz smile and shake his head.
Me: Ishk ishk..Kesian...hahahahaha

Now tell me, wat kinda sis i am?? hmm but its fun...knowing he cant get on my nerves, its time for me to get on his nerves.. *winks*

Today my fren getting married, next week another galfren getting married...ishk am i getting old or am i getting old?? *tots* hahaha baju kurung ke kebaya??? Nak melawar ke tak eh??

Since my digicam is missing in action (blady hell), i shall juz use the old skool camera which is economically classy, not too big lah eh and using film...how good is dat?? watever...*sighz*

Alah rindu lah dgn my baby (ixus)....bosan teramat-amat kau tiada disisi ku...I shall fret and whine and worry and think till wenever i find the culprit...*snifs*

Wat shall i do today?? Party?? Chill Out??? Hibernate?? Lets see wat's my post all about on Monday k...Enjoy pepz!!!

Today like usual late but this time, i cant be bothered to rush and worry about being late coz i simply BOCHAP oredi.

Well, today my younger brother having an operation on his tonsils as its covering his passageway to heaven...*tots* Wat kind of sis i am...joking at this point of time. *winks*

Operating now i guess, hmm...i totally forget about it and here i am at this place slogging my time away. Will visit him tomorrow i suppose...there isnt much thing i can do actually other den indulging on junk foods infront of him...*grins*

I had chicken rice for lunch....a ah lah...nasi ayam lah eh....seroooonnnnooookkkkk skali *winks*

I had alot of time today to read thru my previous entries way back to last year...i cried *sobs* It was so perfect den...only happiness and no sadness..*sighs* I cried becoz of the reminiscence i had...the sweet, lovely princess dat became so confuse due to the environment surrounding her...

Anyway, my deepest desire of travelling on the jet plane to Bangkok has been CANCELLED... Sakit hati gwe beb....macam nak muntah kedarah je siol...Siak betul...tau tak siak tu penjaga masjid...kalau tak tau, skarang da tau kan?? Jangan nak action k...*jeling*

Well, finally i have changed my blogskin..*phew*

By the way, i wasnt late today to work and im juz so happy dat i was caught in the rain...It was kinda heavy but i juz walk thru it. Maybe im in the mood of walking in the rain eeaarrrllyyy in the MORNING or maybe im juz out of my mind..watevaaaaa.....the real truth is dat, im lazy to carry an umbrella around...juz being me...*winks*

Was hungry to the max and i dont noe why coz its not as if i've not eaten for days or maybe its the weather.

I'm goin dance..i guess or should i juz go home and be a sleeping beauty??

Well, here i am...i pulled through the weekends...*phew*

Was at HRC on saturday nite with my 2 galfrens and my long gone Abang..haha. Went to town on Sunday with my fren and had a GREAT time only dat i'm sick halfway thru the enjoyment...*sighz*

I juz received an email from a very old fren which i've know for 16 years since Primary 1...we have gone tru alot together and she's getting married next week. Eventhough we had our bad times before, she is still a fren dat cares, loves and adores me alot...Her words really moved me and i really appreciate her being around me...:-

"My last words are you are one of the flowers which beautify my garden of life. I guess you are the black rose, you are beautiful my dear but it's untouchable cos you have lots of thorns with you. The thorns are there to protect you and I wouldn't be selfish to cut it from you. In other words, the negative and positive about u are there for your identity so that i could blend with you. If I were to have my own way, and want u to be what i want u to be I'm selfish. I have accepted what you are long time ago. Thank you, my black rose.

Wid, whatever happens in the past isn't what i am thinking now. You are asking me how well do i know you. 16 years of frenship i've seen a lot of things and I hope to see more. Frens forever and i hope it'll last."

Gal, i love you and hope your wish and hope will last. *smiles*

Anyway, my workplace is really getting on everyone's nerves...wateva it is wid, juz be patient *sighs*..

This feeling of my trip in July will be cancelled is soooo strong. After receiving a message form a gal fren of mine late last nite, it grew even stronger dat the trip gonna be OFF!!!!! *sighz*

I manage to live thru the nite yesterday by shutting myself up and snug in bed. I wonder wat will it be for today *shrugs*...hmm

Well, i have made up my mind. If the trip is off, i will still travel on my own. I dont want to spoil my mood of celebrating my B'day overseas...be it with or without frens or companion, i will still go. Anyway who cares rite?? *shrugs*

Anyone who's interested to come along...do join me.. *winks*

Anyway...tomorrow is suppose to be a happy day for me but like i've said happiness dont last... Kinda sad but why should i if another one dont feel anything...it's juz a dream dat dont come true and will remain a memory which will eventually fade...*sobs*

Wanted to change my layout but half way thru...i give up.*sighz*

Any plans Today???

How about tomorrow?

Sunday?

Hmm...its gonna be a boring weekend...*sobs*

Im exhausted and sleepy and the best part is im doing OT till 9pm today...

Well a fren in need is a fren in deed so here i am preparing my exhausted body to work till 9pm today...

Spare some time over this phrase given by a fren of mine yesterday:-

"Bitches prey on innocent guys, after having fun, they dump them. Innocent guys become bastards & bastards cheat on decent ladies makin dem bitches"

How true is dat...lets ponder over it...

I was late today coz i couldnt open up my lazy eyes...I am still sleepy *yawns*

Spent the past two hours uploading pictures to my albums and friendster weby...damn its so bored here. The boredom killing me very very very very slowly....HELP!!!!! I hope my teacher comes in quick and save me from this Kingdom of BOREDOM..*winks*

I shed tears today after i receive an sms about 'something'. I couldnt control myself *sobs* Now im perturbed about it. "Dont worry, nothings wrong"...tell me how not to worry???

Alah mata ngantuk lah...nak tido nak tido...agak2 kalau tutup centre jap okay tak?? *grins* Tido kat pantry pun okay gak eh...hahaha

Yeah!!! I got dance practice today after skipping last week's session..hehe but then eh..i'll be double tired, double exhausted, double grouchy, double sleepy...hmm

I guess i'll hibernate tomorrow den....Hei!!! Its oredi the middle of the year...Next month im off for a holiday..I hope it goes as planned...