I left 2004 with unsettled matters and started 2005 brand new with the hope that wateva mishaps happened before the end of 2004 wont recur.

For now and forever, i hope it won't recure and thank goodness for now it didnt coz my tiny heart have no more room to accomodate another sadness. Eventhough so, its not the same anymore. Wheneva i look deep into the emontion and expression, i dont feel the vibes as strong as it used to. The snuggy feeling, the warmth, the happiness, the bonding, the humour and everything which i use to enjoy seems to be missing. It's there but its vague and superceeding.

I miss something of the past...i really do.

I miss the humour, the love, the smile, the rants, the warmth, the hugs....I MISS YOU!!! Please give me back you....I miss those mushy words, the jokes, the sweet messages that would leave me smiling for the rest of the day, i miss the humourous jokes which makes my tummy burst, locked my jaw and roll my tears. I miss you pissing me off, I miss you going "APA JE!!!" with the facial expression and the finger....I miss you saying "Dear, tis song makes me want to fart!!!" my goodness you dont know how much i missed you.

Conclusion, I really miss you...Please return me my old sweet loving you.

I am afraid now...Am afraid to say what lies beneath me...Im afraid of losing something and someone so precious...I am afraid of the truth nowadays...I am afraid i couldnt hold on anymore...I am afraid to give up...I am afraid of myself now...I am afraid of the future...I am afraid to cry...I am afraid to be angry...I am afraid of LIFE...Can you tell me why??? Would you tell me why?? Will my dreams and hope come true? Will it be a reality? Will it?